First of all, i wake up this morning with tears.
I had a really bad dream and it's a long time since I haven had one.
I don't really have dream but yesterday was really scary.
I will not say what the dream is. It's just an accident.
Then I went back to PMO in the afternoon. "Jian Tao Hui".
I was already not in a good mood. That dream was soo real.
I know i know. I shouldn't make a big fuss over it.
Then SiJun was telling us about the problems we have.
And we were suppose to pass the papers around and write down the certain people's good stuff and bad stuff.
I knew mine would have loads of bad stuff more than good stuff.
So, i just wait until the meeting is over to get my paper back.
And when i got the paper back, I was righhtt!!!
The good stuff only 8 people wrote and the bad stuff.
Whooaaaaa!! 15 Bad comments about me.
I will write it out then you will see for yourself.
The below one in Blue will be my comments.
1)别人没又来，affect到你也不想／要来练习
I admit. I seriously hate being alone. Thanks MZ.
2)我觉得你应该tabah一点，觉得你还有很多进步空间。别一直讲＂我不能，我不行＂，一切就当然不能通，要positive一点，有恒心，一切都能做到。
I admit this one too. HQ
3)pls有dicipline点，独立点
Fine, I will i will!!
4)应该像老师说的＂偷师＂，靠自己，死命摸仿的人，so you can bring your二胡skills up one level! 少为自己找excuse.
ok ok, I will. i think QH write wan.
5)太emo,要相信自己！
I will try my very best!!
6)不要让别人过于影响自己，自信点！
Yes yes yes! Zi Xin!
7)别怕，不会的就问，对你有信心，加油！
Thanks Lam Lam!
8)加油吧！Be more commited + 负责任，你可以，但要学习。华乐爱你！
I will. I will commit more.
9)出席率不好！练习时没有专心，认真，对自己没有信心，由其是老师要我们一个一个玩的时候，有信心一些，敢敢拉，死就死，加油吧！我要看到有进度哦！
I will try not to miss practise and be more confident.
10)有时会没有心，且缺乏信心
Confidence again. Haihh.
11)不像有能力的人，不show ability..要show！Pls 付出！
I will do my best to speak up instead of keeping it to myself.
12)自动自发一点，不要人家叫你做才做. =)
I will. I promise.
13)出席率不好，好象态度不太好！
Erm, I got nothing to say. But I will look out!
14)要人宠，不要这样！人要长大的！
Erm, the pamper part i'm not sure. I'm growing up! LOL.
15)有点negative thinking
I admit this one. I always am.
Oh well, that's all the comments i get. Haihhhh.
About the confidence part, I'm WORKING on it!
I keep having the thought I'm the worse in the group.
Or probably in the whole PMO. I always am.
Negative thinking is something i tried to stop myself to do.
But fails everytime i TRY! Don't say I never try.
I use to have a lot of confidence when i'm in primary school.
But after I move on to secondary school, It droped!
My confidence level. It just drop half. 100 to 50.
Next, when my pimples came up. From 50 to 20.
I'm scared of how people will look at me, their thoughts.
I'm always scared. I dunno where's my bravery!
My bravery during primary school. When i use to join solo competitions.
Singing, Story-telling, Dancing. I'm finding.
Give me a little more time. I will find. I promise.
Emo and Cry? That's my routine. But i will cut down.
Then people will think i'm not the kind of useless person.
But sometimes i seriously need crying to make me more stressfree!
Please please stop thinking i'm depanding on other people.
I just need a listener. To hear my thoughts.
Not someone to say i'm not independent enough.
I can't act strong all the time but i will try from now on.
Only a few people know how i feel. They know what's going on with me.
Believe me! I'm trying! I seriously am!
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